Christmas is usually a difficult time for me; all of December is hard.
When I was younger I hated how fake my family was at dinners and outings, and because of the high stress, at home there was a significant increase in screaming and fighting. I began to dislike Christmas altogether, and every year was more or less the same, and the feeling spread to the weeks before and after this holiday.
During a particularly bad year, on December 29th, 2007, I attempted to take my own life, only to fail miserably and panic. This has added to my distaste for December as a whole.
I also lost my grandfather a few years back mid January, and he was really